Day Ninety-Three

Today I am continuing my prayer for wives. I know so, so many bitter and jaded wives. Wives who have been hurt a little, wives who have been hurt a lot, and wives who have imagined that they've been hurt more than is true. Wives who have hurt their husbands, wives who continue to hurt their husbands, and wives who justify hurting their husbands. Like how Matt Paxton says we are all 5 steps away from shitting in a bucket (or something to that extent), I realize we are all 5 steps away from having this kind of martyr, bitter, ugly attitude. And nothing justifies it--the same grace God extended to me, he extends to the ugliest of sinners, and I have no right to be bitter; God offers healing and new life! Why live in an ugly place of anger and self-righteous justification? But I can't say that I haven't been tempted, as I'm sure every wife has. Every person! We all wake up some days and think, this isn't what I signed up for. And despite the situation and what our response will be, I pray for wives everywhere that our response will not be to wallow in martyrdom and bitterness and anger. That despite the circumstances, we will not treat our husbands with disrespect or disgrace. That we will have clarity about our own contributions to the problems we see in our marriage and have the humility to own our mistakes. That despite how awful our husbands may be, we will see him as a child of God--one whom God loves and can redeem, just as he has redeemed us. I pray that we will remember that bitterness seeps into every aspect of our life and affects our children and all relationships. I pray against justification of our own sin and for grace and forgiveness for sin against us. I pray for our mouths to be controlled--that we will not slander our husbands or sin against them with our lips. I pray for a focus on Christ--that instead of dwelling in our own hurt (and self pity!), that we will focus on Jesus and have a proper perspective of our situation. I pray that we always remember that our husbands have dignity because they are created in the image of Christ. I pray that we remember that love is work, and we need to decide every day to love our husbands. And I pray for women who have truly been hurt and damaged--that they will pursue healthy healing, that they will have forgiving spirits (for their own sakes!!), that they will find the help they need to recover and heal and move forward with life, that they will be surrounded by community that loves them and speaks truth to them and is discerning with the situation and what the wives need. I pray that we as wives will have the courage to speak into the lives of our wife friends--to speak truth, to say hard things if necessary, to be shoulders to cry on, friends who pray, sisters who love.

And I praise God for wives like K and L who have truly suffered from awful husbands, and yet they still treat them with dignity and grace and hope--women who have protected their children from their own feelings of anger, understanding that these men will always be their children's fathers, and that they shouldn't threaten that relationship. I praise God for their examples of forgiveness, selflessness, and a desire to truly heal and move forward in life instead of living in self-pity with an angry spirit of self-righteousness. I pray for them and other women like them, that God will sustain their hearts and continue to grant them mercy as they plow forward, one day at a time. I pray that they will continue to heal, free from bitterness and the control of their husband's sin against them. I praise God for their lovely hearts and spirits!