Day Ninty-Nine Point Five

As I was praying this morning, my thoughts roamed to other places that need prayer--for people who are supporting those going through marital struggles. This is a difficult place to be (although not nearly as difficult as the person struggling!!) and requires so much grace, patience, and discernment. Sometimes we are called to just be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. But when the struggles are serious, sometimes we are called to so much more. So today I am also praying for those of us who are walking this journey of heartache with our brothers and sisters.

Talking with a friend recently whose friends just split up, she said that she saw the signs months ago and did not think it was her business or her place to confront the wife about what she saw. I don't know what was right in that situation, but I know I have been frozen in fear several times myself. I pray that we will not live in fear but live in love and grace and courage. I know that if a friend saw something in my marriage that bothered her, I would want her to say something to me, even if she were wrong, mistaken, or not understanding the situation--just knowing that she cared enough to say something would increase the depth of our community and make my safe place with her safer. I pray that if we do feel led to confront and rebuke that it would be done with the goal not of humiliation or being proven right, but of restoration and redemption. I pray that our approach would be gentle and inviting and forgiving and safe.

I pray for those who are caring for the broken hearted--those who have been abandoned, abused, rejected, cast off, etc. I pray that we love with huge amounts of grace, that we will be wise in how to provide a safe place for our friends, and that we would not attempt to take the place of Jesus--that our love would always point our friends to him instead of trying to be the savior ourselves and fix the problem or fix hearts. I pray that we would be wise in discerning needs and how to love our friends (and their children). I pray for those people who are helping with big life changes--going to divorce court with friends, helping them move, supporting them through counseling and mediations. I pray that we will be truly selfless but also know how to draw appropriate boundaries to protect ourselves and our own families but again, protect our friend from depending on us in an unhealthy way.

And I pray for people who need discernment--the friends of deceivers. Friends who are eager to believe what they are being told when they actually need to be very careful. I pray that we would not ignore holes in stories, that we would not dismiss red flags, that we would probe and ask tough questions, that we would not assume everything we are being told is actually truth, that we would not allow our friends to get away with lies and deceits, that we would be willing to take a stand even if it means sad consequences, that we would have courage to stand up to their wrongdoing, that we would not be manipulated into believing lies and acting against other because of those lies. This is one of my biggest prayers the last 99 and a half days. Protection against liars and people who are delusional. How to love people like this and what to do when they cut you off and you have no voice (which you may never have had--you might just have thought you did...), how to deal with their lies when they're against you and hurt people you love, how to protect children in this kind of situation.

Friends, although the 100 days are ending, I pray that we will not stop our prayers--that marriage will be a passionate topic in all our hearts and we will continue on, warriors for love and marriage, praying and encouraging to the best of our abilities. :)